Still trying

I should be finishing my caam 335 problem set now since it's 2:30 in the morning, but I just had an amazing conversation with my roommate for next year, Rick, basically about how I've been feeling about life the last week or two. Ever since I got my last caam test back a couple weeks ago, I've been having lots of inferiority issues, and feeling like I'm not quite up to being an engineer at Rice or even a successful person in general. I've been getting close to the lowest grades in my class in a couple classes, haven't been able to find any kind of meaningful summer work, and have had a lot of trouble grasping a lot of the concepts in a lot of my classes, and it's only my sophomore year.

So I was telling Rick about this as the two of us were walking back to Jones from Will Fisher's room at Will Rice and how it seems like everyone around me is being successful, has plans for their future, and have things figured out and how I've been trying to catch up and do well and be successful but have been failing at it. He encouraged me by reminding me of all of the things that I do that all of those other people haven't. I've been extensively involved in so many things at Rice, MOB, theater, Catholic Student Association, RSDS, and the list goes on and on, all while taking 20 hours of classes and working part time. I should be proud of what I have accomplished, not get upset about what I haven't. He said that fact that I try so hard and am so determined in everything I do to constantly improve puts me above a lot of other people. Sure I may have stretched myself a bit too thin, but it's a lot better than not stretching myself at all. Not everyone gets cool internships during the summer, and now that I think about it, there aren't even a dozen of my friends who have neat internships lined up, and I don't even know that many people who are doing that much better than me in my classwork. I shouldn't be dwelling on what other people have accomplished (which is really hard with all of the amazing people at Rice that surround me every day), but rather be happy with what I've done, which is more than I like to give myself credit for.

So thanks Rick, I really needed that.